Sweet Dreams
by Scy
Summary: Takuya Tells Kouji how he feels but How will Kouji respond? Then someone dear to him dies. How will Kouji cope?
1. Confession

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Rated: R

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Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!! Oh and also, a bit of Brittany Spears bashing

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Disclaimer: Don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. *chuckles evilly* 

The afore mentioned boys: *laughs nervously* …. Uh oh

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Author's Notes: Okay I found out that the forth season existed like a month and a half ago. So I haven't gotten all the character personalities down yet, except for Kouji. I'm starting to wonder if I'm obsessed with him. But it isn't my fault that he kicks ass. This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. But I'll shut up now and start the show

Chapter I

Confessions

(Takuya's POV)

I long to caress his dark locks of hair. I long to look into his eyes for the rest of eternity. I love him no doubt about it. I don't want his love in return. No, I absolutely NEED it. I want to feel his skin upon mine. I want to feel his soft, velvet looking lips to lock with mine as our tongues duel for supremacy. After a bit of a fight I would let him win, and utterly ravish my mouth with his. Then I would let him lay me down to make love to me. I don't think I could ever get any closer to heaven then that. This is my fantasy every night.

But……

I don't think he would love me the same way I love him. I mean we are best friends, but I don't think he wants anything more than that from me. I don't know though, but then again whoever knows the way things work in side that beautiful head of his. 

Shit! Now I'm thinking of his face again. His beautifully mysterious eyes. His cute nose. His mouth. I, I got to stop now before I need to get yet another shower.

I'm lying in my bed staring at the picture of him and I. It was taken along time ago. But who cares as long as I have at least one picture to stare at. And I do. It's the first think I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. 

Yet no matter how much I love him I must keep it a secret. I'm afraid of destroying our friendship. I can deal with him only being my friend, but I don't think I could ever stand for him to hate me. Not to mention that I dread what my parent would do if the found out I was gay. Mom doesn't' say much, but my father's like "those damn faggots" this and "those damn faggots" that. Ever time he says that I cringe. Like I said before I don't think that he would take to lightly for his son, his pride and joy being "one of those damn faggots"

The next day at school I see him, the object of my every desire. "Hey Kouji" I say trying to stay calm and collected.

"Hey Takuya" he says

II just stare at him as he gets his stuff out of his locker. I managed to look away just as he starts to turn and leave. 

"Well got to class" he says and walks off

I stand there for a second as sigh. But a hand on my shoulder brought me out of my musings. It's Izumi 

"Ya know Takuya," she started "you really should tell him"

I turned to her shocked "But how did you…"

"Please I'm a girl. I know these things. I can just tell"

"You have some sort of 'gaydar'" I said jokingly

"Well I wouldn't say it that way but maybe" she shot back

I was glad that she was so open-minded. Now if only the parents would be that way and Kouji could fall in love with me I think I could be happy forever. The whole could rot in hell for all I cared if I could have Kouji.

"But seriously I think you should tell him, besides what the worst thing that could happen."

"Being rejected. Kouji hating me. My parents some how finding out and killing me." I could go on but I stopped there.

Izumi "hmmed" and thought for a moment "Well If you want I could see if he likes you" she said

"I couldn't ask you to do that. This is my problem. I'll take care of it" I say

"Please!" she said exasperatedly "I don't mind. I like playing Cupid"

"Whatever. Do what you want." I say " but if you do I'd rather it be that I tell him myself so if must say something just say that someone likes him or some crap like that" I say not really knowing how to tell Izumi "no"

"Well we better get to class before we're late" she says. 

We say our "see ya later's" and part ways. 

Lunch rolled by and we did our usual. I ate with every body like I always do. Then came the end of the day. School let out and we all hung out a bit. After a little while every body started to leave one by one till it was just me and Izumi. 

"So did you find out anything?" I ask half wanting to know and half not.

"Unfortunately no" she said. "I couldn't get a word out of him after I asked if he was with somebody."

"Don't worry about it, Izumi" I started "I'll figure it out" I say with a smile but inside I was a bit sad that she didn't find anything out, but once again who can understand what goes on in that guy's head?

"Whatever" she said "but if you need help let me know. I'll do what I can." she finished

"Thanks Izumi. See ya later."

With that I went home with one thing on my mind. Kouji. What a surprise right? See how I'm fuckin obsessed with him. I go home and do my usual routine. Do my homework then dream of a day where Kouji and I could be one. It gets harder and harder every day to see him and not try to hold him. I'm just afraid I'll slip up and do something in public before I confess to him. 

Ya know what I can't take this any more. Tomorrow I'm gonna ask him he would spend the night and I'll tell him then. Well come here grab some cash, go see a movie, or rent a movie, depending on what he wants to do. Then after the movie I'll tell him. With that done I decided ton to think on the matter anymore till it was time. I didn't want to get overly nervous and screw things up.

The next day at school I told Izumi of my weekend plans and gave it a big thumbs up. I asked Kouji and he said yes. So step one it done. After school we went to the mall and walked around for a while, looking at various things. Trying to kill time. After a while we saw a movie. It was the new "Lord of the Rings" movie, and I must say it royally kicked ass. We then went back to my house. We spent a while just talking listening to music, though I don't think he likes the same genre of music I do. Though that would surprise me seeing how I listen to every thing except for pop, country and jazz. Jazz sounds too much like porn music, country's to damn whinny, and people like Brittany Spears are just so slutty and nasty it makes me sick. But any way. I look at the clock. 7:58pm is what is read. I turned to Kouji and stared at him for a moment till he looked back. I look away quickly and blush. Out of the corner of my eye I notice a questioning look upon his face. Just as he was about to say something, I start to speak while glancing at the clock again 8:00pm it said

"I must admit I had a reason for you to come over." I started

"I was wondering about that" He said

"Well I have a small confession. Two actually." damn I was getting nervous my hands started to shake so I clamped tight to my pants leg.

"Well what is it?" he said not one to draw things out.

"Well first of all. I'm, I'm ……" oh God who was I going to do this "I'm gay" I said really fast

Kouji gave me a look that just screamed 'and your telling me this because…'

"And for number two" I said feeling really nervous now. "I think I'm in love with you"

I never saw anybodies eyes go so large so fast, and then narrow. He got up and walked till he was inches from my face, with his eyes boring into mine. Then with on fluid motion he backedhanded me across the face. Physically it didn't hurt that much, but inside I was crushed. I could feel the tears forming at the corners of my eyes. He shot me one last glare, and walked out the door. I looked at the clock. It read 8:02. My eyes blurred with the tears. I managed to take a friendship that has lasted for years, and destroy it in two minutes.

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Scy: whacha think continue, or what. Tell me. REVIEW!!!!!


	2. Depression

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Rated: R

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Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!!

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Disclaimer: Don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. *chuckles evilly* 

The afore mentioned boys: *laughs nervously* …. Uh oh

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Author's Notes: Okay I found out the fourth season existed like a month and a half ago. So I haven't gotten all the character personalities down yet, except for Kouji. I'm starting to wonder if I'm obsessed with him. But it isn't my fault that he kicks ass. This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. But I'll shut up now and start the show.

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Author Thanks: Thanks to all those who reviewed. I won't mentions names so that way I won't forget to thank anyone. But to Kelly Q I'm a big fan of your work "Deaf and Mute" "Love and Friendship" and "Lee and Takato" I suggest EVERY BODY TO READ THEM THEY KICK ASS!!! But if you have work I'll try to check it out sometime, but I have a very tight schedule.

Chapter II

Depression 

(Kouji)

Damn You Takuya damn you to hell. How could you!? What gave you the right to make my life that much more complicated!? First I find out that everything that my father had ever told me was bull shit, If found out that I had a brother which I'm more than happy about, and now the brother that I lover so much is sick with some new type of disease, now I have my best friend tell me he's gay and is in love with me. So not only do I have a brother to worry about now, but now I have to worry about my best friend being after my nuts. 

I just can't handle this. I love my brother so much, but now he can barely talk to me he's become so weak. The doctor said that his vital signs are going down hill, and every thing that they've tried isn't working. They said that they're just gonna make him as comfortable as possible, and if things go up, they go up, but not to get our hope up.

I'm at the hospital right now, holding the hand of my dear brother, praying to every God I can think of to not to let him die. Through the short time we've known each other I depend on him a lot. I, … I'm not sure I can go on without him. I managed to keep a mask up, so know one knows. I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me. I don't give sympathy nor do I take it.

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"Kouji I think I'm in love with you"

Those words won't leave me. They replay in my head over and over again and again. Nor will the look on his face after I slapped him.

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I slapped him?

Why did I slap him?

I'm not a homophobe; I have no problem with gay people at all.

So why did I slap him?

I'm soon brought out of my musing by a twitch coming from Kouichi's hand. I look to see that he is coming to, for he slips in and out of consciousness. I squeeze his hand.

"Hey…. Kouji" he says the best he can

"How are you feeling" of all the stupid questions I say to myself.

" Ya know…. the usual" he manages a weak smile.

I smile warmly back and squeeze his hand again, and this time he squeezes back. All to soon he is soon unconscious again. I feel the tears fall from my eyes as I brought Kouichi's hand to my check, and hold it there.

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"Kouji I think I'm in love with you" 

Those, those words will not leave me alone. I wish I could tell Kouichi, I bet he would know what I could do, but I can't and I fear that I'll never be able to. The tears fell more steadily from my eyes.

(Takuya)

I still really can't really believe it. He slapped me. His eyes, his beautiful hate filled eyes boring in to mine. I knew it. I so KNEW IT!!! If I woulda kept my mouth shut then he would still be here, and I could at least be able to talk to him now, but no I had to go and fuck it all up. He hates me now. I know he does. I saw it in his eyes. I heard one say that the eyes are like windows to the soul. But if they only knew how true that is. 

After he left I stared out into space. I was in shock. I faintly remember the tears running down my face as I just stared out into nothingness. Then finally it hit me like a wall of water. I had just told the object of all my desires that I loved him, and not only did he reject me, he hates me for it. 

I buried my face in my pillow a bawled my eyes out. My mother came in to see why Kouji left, only to find me bawling my eyes out. Though she didn't know what happened she tried to comfort me. I didn't want it. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

(Izumi)

I was getting worried about Takuya. He hadn't shown up to school today. I asked Kouji about it to see if he knew anything, but all I got from him was a "who knows and who really cares" attitude. I couldn't get him to tell me anything. I knew that Takuya had told me his plan to confess to Kouji, and I had given him the thumbs up and support for it. I guess things didn't go to well for Takuya.

(Takuya)

I stayed home from school. I didn't want to face him. I didn't want to see his hurtful eyes staring holes through me and my soul. So I did what I did for the last who knows how many hours. I cried. 

Late that day I heard my mother tell me that one of my friends was hear and that she had to go to the store and would be back in a while. I perked up. Maybe it was Kouji to apologies as say that he doesn't hate me. I cleaned myself up. I went into the living room with hopes way higher than they shoulda been. I was Izumi.

"Hey Takuya" She says

"Hey" I mumble being thrown back into my state of depression.

"Jeez what happened to you, you look like hell"

"Lets just say that I didn't have a good weekend," I told her trying my best not to break down in front of her. It was hard. Every time I thought about it I felt my heart just shatter into a million pieces.

"Did your plans go bad?" She asked

The whole thing replayed in my head again and tears started to sting my eyes. "He hates me now…" I said looking down at the floor.

She puts her arm around my shoulder and led me over to the couch. " What happened?"

"I, I told him, he slapped me then left" I finished as the tears started to roll down my face. 

(Izumi)

I can't believe that Kouji would do that. Oh he's such a bastard sometimes. I'm gonna be sure that he know that.

I left Takuya's apartment after some comforting words. I was headed straight for Kouji's place, and then I noticed the sinking sun and decided that I would have a word with him tomorrow at school.

TBC

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AN: just so you know I haven't decided whether to make the a happy ending or not. And to Kouichi fans, I'm sorry in advanced, and that's all I'm sayin.

Like it? THEN DAMMIT, REVIEW !!!!


	3. Attempted Retribution

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Rated: R

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Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!!

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Disclaimer: I don't own them. Don't own the Quote from Redrum's profile Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. *chuckles evilly* 

The afore mentioned boys: *laughs nervously* …. Uh oh

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Author's Notes: Okay I found out the four season existed like a month and a half ago. So I haven't gotten all the character personalities down yet, except for Kouji. I'm starting to wonder if I'm obsessed with him. But it isn't my fault that he kicks ass. This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. But I'll shut up now and start the show.

Chapter III

(Kouji)

Another day, another late night. God I'm so tired. I came home from the hospital and made it to my house at about 10:00. I stepped inside my apartment just in time to here my father yell at me for being home so late. So I do my usual thing and ignore him. There's nothing anyone can do to keep me from my brother's side. Once again I get up late and make it to school barely on time. I had to run the whole way. 

I was at my locker in the break, when Izumi came up to me.

"Hey Kouji how was your weekend?"

As soon as the words left here mouth I knew exactly where she was going with this. "Eh not the best" I say to humor her

"Have you seen Takuya lately. I didn't see him at school yesterday or to day?"

"Sorry, haven't seen him" I say I could tell that she was getting annoyed really fast.

"WILL YOU STOP PLAYING DUMB!!!!"

"You started I merely played along" I say, and I must say that that really pissed her off

"You wanna know where Takuya is right now? Well he is at home right now, to depressed to even come out of his room, because he has this idea that you hate him!!"

"And?"

"That doesn't mean anything to you? The boy basically handed you his heart on a silver platter and you pissed on it!"

"Well it's his own fault that he got hurt then. He shouldn't have done that." I say getting angry with Izumi. God I wish she'd just go away.

"I can't believe you Kouji!? Don't you even care!?" she said and walked off.

(Izumi)

How can he be so cold like that? I mean just two weeks ago, they were best friends, and for Kouji to drop him just like that. I, I can't understand how he can do that. I didn't figure him to be a phobe; in fact we once some how go on the topic and he clearly stated that he wasn't homophobic. I hope he wasn't just saying that.

(Kouji)

One tip for all. Try not to stay lost in though, for it has now earned me a detention. Now I won't be able to go see Kouichi tonight. I get through the day as best I can considering that I have not been able to stay out of a trance like state I'm in. I can't stay out of thought.

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"Kouji I think I love you"

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"He handed his heart on a platter to you and you pissed on it. Don't you care?"

Care? Of course I care, but it just seems that every time I get close to someone, they have to go away, or they hurt me. I used to wonder whether it was just to teach me how life really was, and how wrong people are to think they can depend on other people. That's why I'm so sad now. I let Kouichi in to close now he's going away, ever so slowly but he'll eventually leave me like mom did. The all will. I was wrong to let Takuya in as close as he got and now well we're both suffering for it.

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"Kouji I think I love you"

God would you leave me be. You're driving me insane. Your voice, your face, the tears I saw won't leave me.

I'm brought out of my though by the teach saying that I had served my time in detention, and it was time for me to go home

(Takuya)

After two days of staying home, mother is forcing me to go to school. I've been thinking of what I'll do when I see Kouji. Avoid him, pretend it didn't happen, or just ride it out. But I got it now. I'll go up to Kouji when I see him tomorrow and apologize, and ask him if he can forget it ever happen then we'll go on as if nothing ever happened. Yeah that's how it'll be. 

I fill myself with as much hope as can in hopes that I can befriend Kouji again. I don't know if I could bear with the fact that he hate's me, so I'll try to make friends again

The next day at school I found Kouji at break and went to talk to him. 

"Hey Kouji" I say not enthusiastically like I usually would

"Takuya" he nods to acknowledge my presents

"Can we talk some where private?" I ask

He shrugs his shoulders and we go to the boy's bathroom. 

When we get inside he leans against the sink and starts nonchalantly at the floor.

"I… I wanted to apologize for the other day" I say not really wanting to go into detail. The whole event could throw me instantly into tears still, so I was trying not to think about it too much. "If at all possible I would like to forget it ever happened and maybe we could be friends again.

"Whatever" he says stoically

I don't know how to read what that meant. It could have meant many things, I just don't know what

"Are we done here?" he asks with a twinge of annoyment tainting his voice.

"Are we cool?" I ask too full of hope

"Look what ever I gotta go, I can't be late for class" he says and walks out.

Once again I'm crushed. I think he really does hate me. If not that nothing will ever be the same between us.

TBC

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A/N: This wasn't my best work and I apologize for that. MANY THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS!!!!! You guys are the best. And much gratitude is owed to Redrum who let me borrow a quote off of her Profile. Now be off with you to review!


	4. Tear Filled Confrontations

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Rated: R

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Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!!

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Disclaimer: Wait, hold on *waits for a fax to finish printing, and looks it over* Damn! They win again. So I guess I can't calm them. …Yet *chuckles evilly* but like I said before I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. *Chuckles evilly again* 

The afore mentioned boys: *laughs nervously* …. Uh oh

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Author's Notes: "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson inspired this fic. But I'll shut up now and start the show.

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Chapter IV

Tear Filled Confrontations

(Takuya)

He brushed me off. Now what am I supposed to do? Is he that mad at me? Oh God he must really hate me.

__

"Whatever"

I'm gonna try and talk to him again tomorrow Maybe I caught him at a bad time. Maybe he was preoccupied with something. Yeah that's got to be what was going on.

I head home, walking like usual, but on my way there I see Kouji walk inside the hospital. I wonder what he was doing going to the hospital. I'm almost tempted to follow him to find out, but I don't. I'll just ask him about it later, tomorrow… maybe. I just forget about it, and continue on my journey home.

The next day I do everything I used to do before the whole ordeal happened. An attempt to return to normality again. At Lunch I sit with Kouji just like I used to, but he remains silent. I mean normally he is silent, but he's giving off the weird vibe. I can't explain it really. His eyes are blank, glazed over almost, and his face is blank like as if he's lost in thought. He's been like this all day. It drives me insane, because he won't even acknowledge my presents.

(Kouji)

I'm making him angry. I know that. I've seen it painted all over his face. I can't help it thought. Kouichi's doctors say that things are getting worse. They expect him to go anytime now. Ever since I found him, I found a part of myself that I didn't know I was missing. Now that I've gotten it, I'm not sure I could ever live with out it now. He's become a large part of my life, since my father could careless whether I live or die, and my stepmother is nothing but a bitch. Kouichi has become the person I know would love, and care for matter how fucked up I am. 

I leave lunch early to possibly get away from Takuya. I don't want to make him any angrier than he already is. But why do I care if he's pissed off or not though?

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You care for him

…what?

__

You care for him

Whatever.

I'm so brought out of the conversation with myself by none other than Takuya.

"What?" I say a little more harshly that I'd like.

"God Kouji what is your problem I've been calling you for five minutes." he says a little irritated

"I don't have a problem Takuya," I flatly say in a tone that not to press any more

(Takuya)

I knew he didn't want me to press any further but I had had it. I was gonna figure out why he chooses to constantly ignore me.

"Seems like the exact opposite to me." I say in a challenging tone.

"Whatever you say." he says nonchalantly and walks off

That was it I could take no more. I ran up to him. Time to get my answers. I grabbed his shirt by the collar and put him against the wall. I glared in to his icy orbs, searching for anything.

"Why Kouji, why do you hate me!" I say almost yelling, " what did I ever do to you! Huh!? If anyone should hate anyone, I should be hating you! I gave you my everything, my love, and" my voice started to crack as tears formed at the corners of my eyes "my heart. My fucking heart Minamoto Kouji!" tears were streaming down my face. 

I let him go and he stood there shocked. 

I buried my face in his chest and clutch him tightly "Why, why, why!?" I brought my fist down on his shoulder, not hard but with enough force for emphasis to punctuate ever word. I sobbed lightly into his chest trying to find some comfort somewhere, anywhere. I'm surprised when I feel his arms gently close around me. I know I must be imagining this. How could my own imagination be this cruel? All that is soon wiped when I feel him slightly squeeze me, and his words.

"I don't hate you Takuya, I, …I just have my own problems right now." he say in an almost loving manner, but then again that could be my wishful thinking. "I,… I'm sorry Takuya.," he says as he pulls my face to face with him. Kouji wipes a tear from my eye. "I'm sorry" he says and walks away. I swear I saw tears in his eyes too.

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A/N: whacha think, other than this is waaaay, way too short. And I know I say like two weeks ago it would be Wednesday, but Writer's block reared it's ugly two heads, and well, yeah. 

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Thanks: All you guys who were patient enough to wait on this chapter. All you guys period. This was originally was just gonna be two chapter. I didn't even expect it to do this well. But you guys like it a lot, and well the angst continues, and still will. 

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Note: I might have a lemon coming. Tell me whacha think. Hot steamy, lemony goodness, (is lemony even a word? Oh the hell well) or not. You decide!


	5. Comfort

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Rated: R

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Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!!

****

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. *Chuckles evilly* 

The afore mentioned boys: *laughs nervously*. Uh oh

****

Author's Notes: Okay I found out the four season existed like a month and a half ago. So I haven't gotten all the character personalities down yet, except for Kouji. I'm starting to wonder if I'm obsessed with him. But it isn't my fault that he kicks ass. This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. But I'll shut up now and start the show.

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Chapter IV

Comfort

(Takuya)

I was speechless.

"Kouji," I call after him

I see him stop for a second then continue on.

"Kouji wait please!" I beg and start to go after him

"Takuya, …" Kouji turned and said "…" he soon turn back and took off running.

I stood in the door of the school. Kouji had run out. I don't know where, otherwise I would be hot in pursuit. But then again. I can't stay here. I run after where he went hoping to find him.

(Kouji)

So many things are flying through my head right now. I, I can't think. I can't sleep, I can't even eat. 

__

I told you, you cared for him

Your right. I do care for him. What just happened just proved it. All those time I couldn't stand him; it was just me trying to prove to myself that I didn't like him. HA! One more joins the ranks that hate Minamoto Kouji. I glance down at my watch. School just let out. Time to go visit Kouichi. Maybe he's doing better to day. 

I walk to the hospital. I've traveled the route so many times that I could do it blind folded and backwards. First elevator on the right, to the fifth floor turn left then to the third hall on the right and four rooms down on the right, room 595. I walk in just as the doctor was leaving.

"E, Excuse me Dr. Ishutaka, how is he" I say 

He turned to me, "I'm sorry Minamoto-san but I'm afraid that Kouichi has fallen in to a coma. He's been in it for maybe two hours now." he knelt down on one knee and put his hands on my shoulders and looked me directly in the eyes "This may be hard for you to accept, but I'm afraid that he's not expected to come out." 

Tears gathered in the corner of my eyes. 

"Do you understand?" he asks

I nod my head as best I can.

"I'm going to go inform his mother. Remember that, though he cannot respond, he can still hear you. Talk to him and try to give him as much hope as you can maybe he'll wake up. I've seen some rather miraculous things happen in my years. Who's to say it won't happen again."

With that the doctor walked away. I walk into the room and sit in the chair I usually sit in. I find Kouichi's hand and pull it into my own. I squeeze and praying, and hoping that he'll squeeze back, but it never came. The tears that I had held back so far started to roll down my face.

"H, hey Kouichi" I manage trying to keep my voice strong. "I just want to tell that I, I love you. Ever since I found you, I felt like I found a piece of me that I didn't know was gone, and if you go, … I don't know if I can live without that piece of my life, …you." I can't bear to speak any more, and the tear came like rain. The next thing I remember is the nurse waking me up. I glance at the clock. It reads 6:30pm.

"His mother said is on the way up. She told me to tell you to go home, and get some rest."

I nod 

"I'll see you tomorrow Kouichi" I say and squeeze his hand one last time, and leave.

I'm gale we had the next day off from school. I really didn't want to go. Even if we did I don't think I would have went anyways. I stayed home for a little while, but got restless. I went for a walk. I thought a lot of , Kouichi and Takuya. I about the confrontation I had with Takuya the day before. The look on his beautiful face, his confession, …everything. I thought of Kouichi, and I couldn't help but let the tears fall from my eyes. When I came out of my musings I had realized that I had walked to the park. I went to the secret place that me and Takuya used to hang out. It's an old part of the park that the bushes now cover up, but behind the bushes there was a clearing with a large and old cherry blossom tree in the middle of the clearing. I sat with my back against the trunk, and managed to get myself lost in though again. I stayed there till I heard a voice

"Hey Kouji."

I looked to see who it was.

(Takuya)

I went to the secret place to think. But Kouji beat me there it looks like

"Hey Kouji" I say.

He looked up at me. His eyes were red. It looked like he had been crying. He glanced back down to the ground while I looked over him from where I was. He looked like a mess. His hair was in a messy ponytail, and was missing his usual bandana so his bang hung in his face. His face looked thin and pale. He had bags under his eyes. I sat beside him in silence, in hopes he would tell me what was going on.

We sat there for at least 30 minutes. Every so often I would here a sniffle coming from him.

"Ya know" he broke the silence in a the best voice he could muster "Meeting him for the first time was weird." he stood up and so did I "Especially when he told me that he was my long lost twin brother. It took getting used to but we learned to work together like brothers should." he turned his back to me and continued "I felt like I gained a lost piece of me that I didn't know was gone." He turned face to face with me. I could see the tears in the corners of his eyes "I don't know if I can do with out him, Takuya" he sniffed and wiped his eyes.

"I don't understand" I started "is there something wrong with Kouichi?"

"Takuya, …he, he's dying." the tears flowed freely down his face now "he has some unknown virus. The doctors cannot help him. Yesterday he went into a coma, and they say that he's not gonna come out of it" 

Kouji grab hold of me and buried his face in my chest. I was surprised at first, but I wrapped my arms around him in a comforting embrace. I couldn't hold my own tears from falling. Though I hardly ever see Kouichi, he's still one of my friends. I held Kouji close to me and rubbed comforting circles on his back.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

A/N: sorry about how ling it took to put this out. I had exams and that damned dirty thing known as writer's block. I knew what I had, and what I wanted to do, but I didn't know how to make it happen. But endless rounds of Evanescence and Taproot helped give my inspiration a kick in the ass. Also the Lemon I was gonna do is gonna get pushed back a chapter or two. I got bit by the angst bug *laughs evilly* . Oh and to Kouichi fans I'm not a Kouichi hater, it's just what my muse had me do. In fact I'm a big fan of some of IcePuppets' twincest fics. I encourage you guys to go check out some of her fics, they're really good. 

Oh and one last thing. THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEW 51 AND NO FLAMES YET! If I do get one I'll be sure to post it in the next chapter so we can all laugh and poke fun at it.


	6. Pass Away

****

Rated: R

****

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!!

****

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. *chuckles evilly* 

The afore mentioned boys: *laughs nervously* …. Uh oh

****

Author's Notes: This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. The stuff in Italics is a poem I did for this chapter. I'll shut up now and be on the show now.

****

Chapter VI

Passing Away

(Takuya)

A week has went bye since that day at the secret place. I visited Kouichi with Kouji everyday to give him as much support as I can. That's where I am now. Someone tell me how are you supposed to tell somebody who's twin brother is dying, "It's alright, It'll be okay." You can't. So I guess that all I can do is just be here. I feel so damn helpless. I feel as though a mere child could do better than what I'm doing. It's driving me nuts.

I want nothing more than to be able to hold Kouji in my arms and tell him that this whole situation is just one bad dream, I wish someone would tell me that this is a dream. I hate this. Why is life so cruel.

I'm soon brought out of my musings by Kouji tugging in my jacket and calling me. He looks panicked.

"Takuya, Takuya the heart monitor"

I glance over at it at first I didn't notice anything. "What's the matter Kou…" Oh no the beep the heart monitor is giving off is slowing down. "… Hurry call the Nurse," I say

He nods and does so.

A few seconds later the nurse and a doctor appear at the door

"His heart is slowing down!!" Kouji says in near tears

The nurse ushers us out of the room while the doctor checks his vitals signs and a few other things. After what seems like an eternity, but was only five minutes, the doctor cam out of the room. 

"Mr. Minamoto" he says to Kouji " I think you need to call your family." I could see the tears forming in the corners of Kouji's eyes. "I'll give him maybe half hour to an hour left." the Doctor finished.

I could see the Tears in Kouji's eyes. He was slowly coming in undone ever so slowly. I told him that I would call his mother for him so he could stay with his brother. I went to the phone and called his mother. She sounded so upset when I broke the news to her. But then again if this were happening to Shinya My mother would have been just as upset. 

As I walk back to Kouji from the phone my thoughts started to wander and everything hit me all at once. Kouichi's dying in 25 minutes to 55 minutes. He will no longer be on this earth, and I'm gonna miss him.

Tears brim my eyes as I continue my journey to Kouichi's room. I stop a moment to wipe my eyes and compose my self. I need to be strong for Kouji. I want to be there for him. 

I walk into the room and I see Kouji clutching his brothers' hand. His shoulders were shaking and I could faintly hear sobs from him. I walk up to him and put my hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. A few minutes later His mother came in with tears brimming her eyes. She sat on the other side of the bed and started stroke Kouichi's head. I heard the monitor slow again. I knew it would be long now.

The time tick at an excruciatingly slow pace. I was about to go mad. Just as I was thinking this it happened.

__

Dearest brother, don't make me cry

I can't bare life, if you were to die

Why do you have to go, why can't you stay

I love you dearest brother, be with me just one more day

Kouichi started to breathe hard, and his heartbeat was irregular. You could hear him whimper a bit while he started to shake. Kouji's eyes were filling with tears. Kouichi gasped and went stiff then suddenly limp. The constant monotone sound of the heart monitor was almost deaf in my ears as my own eyes were filling with tears.

Kouji turned to me the tears pouring down his face. He looked like a lost child.

"… Ta… Takuya … he's gone." Kouji said in almost disbelief.

__

Why, oh why did you have to die

I'm all-alone now, how will I ever survive

Hearing your name causes tears in my eye

If only I could see your face just one more time

I wrapped my arms around him and he melted in to the embrace and broke down. He buried his face into my chest. I held him tightly to me not really knowing what else to do. I could see Kouichi's mother watching us. She managed to be calm right now. I suppose that she wanted to be strong for Kouji to.

~^~^~A Few Weeks after Kouichi's Funeral~^~^~

(Takuya still)

He missed him so much. It's almost like he doesn't know what to do, or how to act anymore. His whole world has been thrown off balance. I try my best for him, to be there for him. Like sometimes he has stayed for days at my home be cause his own reminded him of Kouichi too much.

__

Oh how I miss you dear

Nothing's the same without you here

No longer will you dry my tears

And comfort me through my fears

Long walks in the park

To talks way past dark

I miss you dearest brother

You're always apart of me

(Kouji)

… He's gone. I can't believe he's really gone. This all seems like a dream. A dream that I wish that I could wake up from. I feel so hollow, I don't know how to feel, what to do. I just feel broken, and I don't know how to fix myself. 

I shan't let go of your memory dearest brother

I'll love you till I die

But for you sake when I think of you

I'll try to be strong and not to cry

Though we're no longer together

Remember on thing dearest brother

I love you now and forever

And till the day we're again together

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

A/N: Like the Poem? Check out my profile at Fictionpress.net The accual link is in my Bio. Check it out there's some good stuff there. I recommend "Love and Rape" "Thought" and "Dark"

Many apologies for taking so long to post this. I have the problem of I know what I want to do; I just don't know how to get there. Plus work Man I only got one week off last summer, but I needed the money. Much thanks to the reviewers 65 … damn I didn't think that this fic would ever get this many. But I must go now I got many things to do.

GO REVIEW!!!!

Oh by the way I might be putting out a Rurouni Kenshin fic soon if anyone is interested. I'm gonna preview at a few ml's first to see what kind of feed back I get

Ja,

Scy


	7. Therapy

****

Rated: R

****

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!!

****

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. *Chuckles evilly* 

The afore mentioned boys: *laughs nervously*. Uh oh

****

Author's Notes: This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. The stuff in Italics is a poem I did for this chapter. I'll shut up now and be on the show now.

****

Chapter VII

Therapy

(Kouji POV)

After Kouichi died I fell apart. I'm still trying to slowly put myself back together. Takuya is helping me out a lot, though I don' know why. He should hate my guts right now, after I slapped him and my unstable emotional state. I go from a crying mess to seeing red I'm so angry. I get mad at my self for letting myself get to close to someone, mad whatever deity that decided that my brother had to die, made at my life for being so hard, mad a Takuya for caring so much, even mad a Kouichi for leaving me. 

My father has decided to make my life that much more of a hell. He's forcing me to go to a psychiatrist, or therapist as he calls it, for my problems. He acts like he cares but I can see through him. He has something else in mind. Just like My father would put a car in the shop for a new engine, he expects me to come out of therapy the perfect son who doesn't worry about anything, so that he my step mother and I can be on big happy family. He says that I have and anger problem, and that I'm to cruel to my stepmother, but how can I be cruel to her if I never speak to her. When I said that my father has something in mind for me to go to therapy, I was right. It ends up that my father is getting a promotion and his boss is coming over for dinner this time next month. I heard him tell my stepmother that his boss wanted to see a happy normal functioning family. As the saying goes what man can be respected in the bussiness world, if he is not respected in his own house. He saw me as a problem that needs to be fixed.

I told Takuya of what I had learned but what he told me surprised and angered me at the same time.

"…Maybe he can help you cope with Kouichi's passing," he said

"I don't need to go to a therapist, Takuya" I said "I'm fine I can handle thing on my own."

And as the conversation continued, we ended up in a big fight, which resulted in me leaving.

That would bring us to present. It has been three days since me and Takuya had our fight. I was forced to go to the therapist. If glares could kill, then my father would have been dead a million times over by the time we go to the doctor's office. At first the doctor was talking to my parents, asking all sorts of questions. I of course was half listening and glaring the whole time. Then the doctor turned to me

"Kouji, something seems to be bothering you, would you like to share it with us?" he said.

I stayed silent. I didn't want to talk to this man. I didn't even know him. So I stared him right in the eye. I'm sure he could see my total dislike of the situation.

"Kouji" My father scolded, "Answer him"

I still don't answer him, and completely ignore my father. I can tell out of the corner of my eye that he's starting to get angry.

"Kouji, answer him now" 

"Now now mister Minamoto there's no need to get angry" the doctor said. " Now mister and misses Minamoto would you mind if I spoke with Kouji alone?"

My father nodded and walked out with my stepmother. 

"Kouji, I don't want you to get any ideas that I'm here to judge you, I just want to talk to you about how things have been going lately" he pauses and walks over to a table by the wall "Water?" He asks while pouring himself a glass

"No thanks"

"Oh my he speaks" he jokes

I roll my eyes

"Now let's talk. Your father said that you were a very angry person. He said that there has been cruelty towards you stepmother. Why is that?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"So we can resolve this problem you have so you can be a better person"

At this point I was getting annoyed with the good doctor "First of all" I start out "I don't have a problem, and second I don't want to change, I like the way I am"

The doctor was a little surprised at my outburst.

"Well then let's try it this way. Why do you not like you stepmother."?

"She's annoying," I say getting even more irritated. 

"That's not a good reason to hate someone. I'm sure she has some good qualities. I'm sure she cooks cleans and does laundry for you and your father."

"Your wrong there buddy. I do the cooking, and cleaning, and a great deal of the laundry. The only thing my stepmother ever does is sit on her fucking ass, and watch the fucking TV."

"I see…"

"And if it makes you fell better" I cut in "I don't like you either. You want to know why? You're annoying, and fucking nosey" I say and walk out of the room the door slamming behind me. My father is on my case in seconds.

"Minamoto Kouji!" He yells, "Get back here right now!!"

"You know what DAD!" I turn to him and start. I also notice out of the corner the doctor has now walked in to the room. "Fuck you!"

"You mind your mou.."

"NO! Dad I don't care anymore! I know why you're doing this! To get that fucking promotion. Don't deny it I heard your fucking talk about it. And as far as 'm concerned, I have no father!" I say and run out of the building not really knowing where I'm going, only just that I need to get away from here.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Scy: Damn. It took me long enough to get this out. Damn school getting in my way of doing this. I hope you enjoy. And it anyone would like to ask me where this is going, well don't ask cuz I haven't a fuckin clue. 

Oh and MANY, MANY THANKS to all my reviewers!!!!!!!!

Oh and one more thing., if you want to know when I up date, then join my ML:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Takoujiness/


	8. Rock Bottom

****

Rated: R

****

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!!

****

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. *Chuckles evilly* 

The afore mentioned boys: *laughs nervously*. Uh oh

****

Author's Notes: This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. The stuff in Italics is a poem I did for this chapter. And when it come t making up names I really suck at it., but any wasy if any were wondering when "Sweet Dreams" was coming into play in this fic. All I can say is that it's coming. I'll shut up now and be on the show now.

****

Chapter VIII

Rock Bottom

(Kouji) 

I walked for a while. I need to cool off. The little explosion I had with my father was just a little of the hate I have toward him. As I walk I couldn't help but notice what part of town I was in. I used to have a friend who lived in this area. Kusonagi, Omini. I went to grade school and nearly all of middle school with him, then for some odd reason he just stopped coming and I only heard from him every once and a while. I still hear from him every now and then, but I haven't spoken to him in about sever or eight months now.

I want to get my mind off of my present situation and see if he was still living in his old house. As I walked on I came to his old house and just as I was walking up to the steps.

"Can I help you?" a male figure asked.

"Yeah I'm looking for someone. The last I heard they lived hear."

"Well this is my house and only my mother and I live hear, but I might know the person. Got a name for them?"

"Yeah, Kusonagi Omini"

The other boy looked slightly shocked. "That's me. Who are you?"

I was kinda taken aback. He has changed throughout the years so much. He's no longer the scrawny little kid everybody picked on any more. He was just taller than I am, with a muscular build, but yet not overly bulky though. He had short spiky jet-black hair, aquarimine eyes. He was wearing baggy blue jeans and a red T-shirt with a black tribal on it. I figured he must be thinking the same about me though he doesn't recognize me.

"I'm Minamoto Kouji. I used to go to school with you"

He looked shock again, but then looked at me hard, and then with a smirk he said "Well no shit. I haven't seen ya in years. Man you've changed a lot."

"You have too I didn't even recognize you."

"Well excuse me where are my manners."

"Come on in and chill out for a while."

"I'd like that." I say glad I had something to occupy my mind at the time.

I followed Omini into the house and he showed me the couch, "Have a seat" he said I say a thank you and sat down. 

"Wanna drink?" he asks

"Yeah whacha got," I ask

He walks over to the frig and peeps in. "Let's see… soda, water, Smirnoff, and Sky vodka. "

"Smirnoff will do."

He brings two back and sit beside me on the couch handing me my drink.

(Takuya)

It was 12 at night, and I had to rush out to the store for some cold medicine. Shinya had taken a sudden cold and had a Temperature. On my way back I noticed a figure. They were stumbling around like they were drunk. As I neared he recognized the figure.

"Kouji?" I called out.

The person stumbled turning around.

"T,Takuuya" Kouji said drunkenly "Wacha doing out this time a day"

"Kouji" I started very seriously "why are you drunk"

"Ya know, I don't rlly kno, know. I was at a frends house, I had we had a few drinks then I the next thng I real, reali, know, I'm wakn up on his couch. Then I decide I wanted to go home, so I left. But the shit kicker is tha I cnnot remember where home is right now" after the statement Kouji stumbled and fell flat on his ass "DAMMIT WHY WON'T EVERYTHING STOP MOVIN!!!" He yelled out

"Because you shit-faced drunk" I stated a little more than ticked off "Come on I'm taking you to my house. You're in no condition to be out wondering around."

"Whateva" Kouji said with a shrug of his shoulders.

I Put one of Kouji's arms over his shoulder and started the awkward journey home. After stopping a few time to let Kouji puke, they finally made it to my home.

"Mom Kouji's staying the night!" I called to her

"Whatever" she called back.

I took Kouji into my room so he could lie down, and then went for the aspirin and a cup of hot chocolate. I knew that Kouji would need this in the morning. Upon my return to my room Kouji had relocated himself from the bed to a chair over by the window. He was starring intently out into the night. I wondered what he was thinking about.

"Here" I said holding out the hot chocolate for him to take.

He didn't turn.

"Kouji, I brought you some hot chocolate"

I noticed his shoulders start to shake, and I heard a sniffle. 

I put the hot chocolate down on my desk, came behind Kouji, and put my hands on his shoulders.

"How" he started choking back sobs, "how can… you… not hat me? He said as I saw the tears running down his face through the reflection in the glass.

"Because I could never hate you, Ever."

"How?" He turned to me with a tear stricken face

"Because" I start, getting on my knees in front of him so we could be eye to eye "I love you"

I was weird the way he looked at me. He was smiling through his tears. He leaned toward me. I could feel his breath on my face as he leaned in closer. H brushed his lips against mine. I froze fro a second, and has he stayed I pushed back crushing our lips together. As we parted he fell in front of me on his knees also, and buried his face in my chest. 

"Please Takuya, don't let me go"

"…don't worry… I won't" 

As Kouji clung to me I managed to pick him up and place in my bed. As I laid beside I held him and he still clung to me for dear life, and then… we drifted off in to the land of dreams.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

A/N: Ladies and Gents, Kouji had now hit rock bottom. There's only one way to go now. Once again, many apologies for taking so long to put this out. And once again if you were to ask me where this is going? I still don't have a fucking clue.

Anyways

MANY THANKS TO THE REVIEWERS!!!!!

And remember if you want to know when I update? Join my ML: 


	9. Mending Hearts

**Rated******R****

**Warnings****** Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!!

**Disclaimer****** I don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. Chuckles evilly

The afore mentioned boys: laughs nervously. Uh oh

**Author Notes****** This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. Yeah so it took me long enough to get this out. Many apologies, I've been busy, but I have 3 but now possibly four trucks to get ready for NOPI this September. Sighs there isn't enough hours in the day, and days in the week. Well anyways this is really short and I apologize for it.

**Chapter IX**

**Mending Hearts**

(Takuya)

The next morning I awoke and felt another presence in my bed. I open my eyes to find it was Kouji. He was pressed against me with his head on my shoulder. The night before replayed in my mind.

'Oh Kouji' I thought

I started to move to head to the bathroom till I felt Kouji clutch me tighter.

"Please don't go, don't let me go." A muffled voice said beside me.

"Don't worry I'm not going anywhere" I say and settle back down.

I was hoping that nothing more would happen to Kouji right now. Last night he hit rock bottom, so hopefully it's all up from here. I close my eyes and gently give a reassuring squeeze to Kouji. We sat there for a while, and despite the fact that I had to go to the bathroom, I was quite comfortable and really didn't want to move. Who knows when I'll be able to ever hold Kouji like this again. I know that I'm being selfish right now, but everybody is selfish at one point or another. I sit there for another few minutes then he breaks the silence.

"I'm sorry Takuya"

"For what?" I ask

"For everything." He started not having even moved from his spot. "I'm sorry that you had to put up with me last night, I'm sorry that I always push you away, I'm sorry I slapped you, I just… I'm just sorry. You say that you love me, and I don't even know why. I've been such a bastard that I really don't even deserve to be your friend, much less love you back."

I was speechless for a moment. Kouji started to get up and get his shoes. "I think I should leave" he says and starts for the door.

"Don't go" I say

He keeps going

I hop out of the bed and run for him and catch his arm "Please don't go"

"Why" he says a little angered and on the verge of tears

"You want to know why I love you." I pause for a second "It's because you're you. And I could not picture myself with anybody else. Because you're smart, passionate, and very beautiful. I love everything about you, from your fucked up head to your beautiful face, and everything between. And I want to say more but they're just aren't enough words for it, but here"

I lean forward and place my lips on his and embrace him. He was stiff and first the loosened up. I partly pulled back but left our foreheads touching, and I looked him the eyes.

"These past few weeks" he starts "I realized how much care for you Takuya, a, and I want to, but I'm scared"

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid of losing you" He backs away from me

"Why? I'm not going anywhere, not as long as you're still here"

"You don't understand. It happens every time"

"What?"

"People I care about always end up leaving me"

"What do you mean?" I inquired

"Mom, Kouichi, the man that used to be my father, they all left me."

"Kouji that doesn't…"

"Yes it does. I'm afraid to get to close to you Takuya, I'm afraid that if I do get close that something will happen and you'll have to leave me too. I couldn't bare that."

I grasped Kouji's hands in mine and started directly into his eyes. "I Promise on my life that I'll never leave you Kouji."

"Takuya…" I Kouji's Eyes tear up and he pulled me in to a fierce hug. "Y, you promise?"

"Yeah" I say then kissed him. He happily returned it, and I held him in my arms.

"Then I'll try then"

"You mean?"

"Yeah, I want you to be my one and only"

There weren't any words in the whole world to even to begin to express what I'm feeling. Then everything seemed to slow when I thought about my parents.

"Kouji, what about my parents?" I asked a little worried. "They are the biggest homophobes in this city?

"Well we'll just have to keep things under wraps for now." He said to me touching his forehead to mine.

Scy: so things are finally looking up for these guys, but don't worry I still have many, many plans for this duo. smirks insanely

I have an Idea for a new fic that I've been playing around with, but I'll be sure to let all know when it comes out. As far as I know this new fic will be totally original, as I havn't seen anybody do anything like this.

Anyways (Fuckin A it seems like I say that entirely too much) you know what ya gotta do now, press that little review button and give me more fuel for my fire.

Scy


	10. Slaps in the Face

**Rated**R

**Warnings** Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!!

**Disclaimer** I don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. Chuckles evilly

The afore mentioned boys: laughs nervously. Uh oh

**Author Notes** This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. The stuff in Italics is a poem I did for this chapter. And when it come t making up names I really suck at it., but anyways if any were wondering when "Sweet Dreams" was coming into play in this fic. All I can say is that it's coming. I'll shut up now and be on the show now.

**Chapter X**

**Slaps in the Face**

(Takuya)

The last few weeks have been awesome. It has been about a month since me and Kouji got together, and it has been awesome, not only for me but for Kouji too. I don't think that I have ever seen Kouji look so happy, ever. Izumi found out, well I let in on the secret, and of course she squealed with glee, just like any girl would. Life was just great.

That is till I came home one day…

It was a warm Saturday and Kouji and I had had a date. The day in itself had been extraordinary. He even kissed me in the park, and Kouji really wasn't for one for showing affection in public, hence why it was so special to me. I walked Kouji home and then I went to my own house. It felt as if I was walking on air. It seemed like there was nothing in this world that could bring me down that could bring me down.

Then of course Just when you're at your peak, is when everything goes to hell. And to hell it did go. And it went hard and fast.

I stepped into my house. I was just about to go to my room to gather clothes and such for a long hot shower. The day may have been an absolute wonderful day, but I was tired, and just wanted to lounge around for the rest of the afternoon.

"Takuya" I heard my father say, "please come into the now"

I did so

"Sit" he said and pointed to the couch

I did. He looked kind of angry. I was trying to figure out if I had done anything to upset him lately.

"So" he started "what do you have to say for yourself"

I just stared at him with a look of confusion painted on my face.

"Don't play games Takuya Kanbara. You know what you did."

"No disrespect father" I started "but I don't know what you are talking about"

"You don't KNOW what I speak of!!?" the let me inform you." He stood abruptly "I was at the park to day to have lunch at the park for a change of scenery to get out of the office for a bit. And I saw the most vile and disgusting thing. I saw to boys kissing. But upon looking closer I saw that it was my eldest son, and his best friend!!"

I know I must have visibly paled. I didn't know what to say, what to do.

"and" he continued "I want some answers. NOW!"

"Well" I started I didn't know where to go from there

"Please tell me you're not one of those faggots Takuya" he said almost pleadingly

I looked down at the floor and began speaking "…I'm sorry you feel that way father. I…I love him. I am... gay" there were tears pricking the corners of my eyes. I tried my best to hold them back.

"I'm sorry too Takuya"

Before I knew it I was on the ground and the right side of my face hurt like hell. He had backhanded me HARD.

"Now pick yourself up and go to your room till I figure out what I want to do with you."

I picked myself up. I know the tears were streaming down my face. I looked at him, in his eyes there was nothing there. Not pity, no remorse. I felt a gouge in my heart. What I was I to do now. What it he wanted to kick me out of the house.

"Go NOW Takuya" he said and pointed.

I did as I was told and walked to my room and shut the door quietly. I fell onto my bed and cried into my pillow. I must have fallen asleep, because I awoke to the sounds of yelling"

"…what does it matter, he still my little boy, your son OUR son."

"I matters because it's not right. It's wrong, it's vile and it disgusting."

"I don't like it either, but he is still my son. And who knows maybe this is just a phase"

"for his sake he better, I will not allow any of those kind of people to live in my home"

I heard foot steps coming toward my room.

"Takuya" he yelled as he burst into my room "Living room, Now!" he stated and walked in the direction of said room.

I followed without hesitation. I didn't want to make him any angrier.

"Sit"

I did so

You looked squarely at me hard. "You are not to see this Kouji ever again."

I felt as if someone dumped a pile of steel beams on top of me.

"and if I were you I wouldn't. you don't want to know what will happen if I catch you with him"

I knew the tears were streaming down my face now.

"After school you will come directly home"

"what about Soccer"

"DIRECTLY home Takuya. You will stay home on the weekends, and will only go places if you are accompanied by me or your mother."

I sniffled and started to wipe my eyes. I don't know what happened next but my father was sneering at me and the next thing I knew I was on the ground cheek burning again.

"Stop your Crying!" he yell "boys don't cry! Now get up and go to your room. I want every picture you have of that boy. I want anything he as given you. And I want it in 10 minutes or I'll come in there and do it myself."

I ran up to my room. I picked up my pictures of Kouji pictures and started piling them on his desk. I managed to hide a few, by stuffing them down my pants. 'I'll find a place for these later' it thought

Five minute later my father walked into the room. I pointed to the desk

"is this it?"

I nodded

"It better, or so help me..."

"Dad that's all of them" I said between sobs

He left and I fell to my bed and cried myself to sleep, wishing, that this was just a horrible nightmare. I would wake up and Kouji would be right beside me.

Scy: 5 months. Holy fuckin shit. That's a looong ass time to leave you guys hangin. But a lot has happened in those five months. basically I had a job, lost it due to downsizing, got another job and abso-fuckin-lutely hated it and quit my first night. Then I come a cross another thought it would be cool, then my boss turned out to be an utter ass I hate this guys guts(he could keel over dead in front of me and I would point and laugh, kinda hate) I was on the verge of quitting but he fired me before I could quit, because he kept trying to put words in my mouth and I didn't like it and told him what I thought about it. Then finally I started workin at Goodyear. I love it there, my boss rocks; me and the other ppl there get along more that fine. And for once in my life I don't dread going to work in the morning. Cept this morning. Icy/slushy streets, and utterly horrid weather. But that's a different story.

But enough of my ranting.

Many Many thanks to my readers, you guys ROCK! Now be off with you to REVIEW !!! And I promis I'll try to update way sooner.

Take care, and see ya

Scy


	11. The Last Night

**Rated: **R

**Warning:** Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!

**Disclamer:** I don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. Chuckles evilly

The afore mentioned boys: laughs nervously. Uh oh

**Author's Notes:** This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. The stuff in Italics is a poem I did for this chapter. And when it come t making up names I really suck at it., but anyways if any were wondering when "Sweet Dreams" was coming into play in this fic. All I can say is that it's coming. I'll shut up now and be on the show now.

**Chapter XI**

**The Last Night**

(POV – Takuya)

The next day at school was hard. Dad personally dropped me off at school. I was miserable. I really couldn't think straight. Why oh why could my father just understand? He's blinded by hate so much that it sickens me.

I managed to avoid Kouji till I got to class. Kouji and I have different first periods. When I was able to I wrote Kouji a note to explain everything. I wanted him so badly to be here with me, to help me through all of this. I was really unbearable.

I felt my heart, already shredded, rip some, more.

"Mr. Kanbara are you okay? The teacher called on me.

"No ma'am, not really, may I be excused to the restroom" man I really must look miserable

"Sure thing but try to make it quick, I'll be doing a review for next weeks test"

I nod and grabbed the note she scribbled out giving me permission to the restroom should anybody question why I was out during class. I managed to keep most of my composure till I walked into the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and silently started to weep for what seemed like the billionth time since last night but I couldn't help it. I was basically being denied my life. I quiet myself quickly as I hear someone enter the restroom. I peer through the cracks of the stall door. And really only my luck would do this to me. It was Kouji. I wanted him to so badly hold me and tell me it's going to be alright, but I can't. He said he would know if I ever had contact with him at school.

"Takuya" I hear him call "are you okay"

I can't help but answer him "not really"

"Can I come in?"

"I dunno Kouji"

"Why whassa matter?" he inquired really concerned

"Kouji something really bad happened last night… and …I"

"….He found out didn't he?"

I fall into a pool of sobs. I was dead to the world till I felt a pair of arms around me. I know it's him. I know his touch, his scent, really everything. I'm not supposed to be doing this but I don't care right now. I burry my face into Koujis chest and he hugs me tight trying to comfort me.

"Kouji, he said "I started between sobs "I'm not supposed to see you anymore, I would be severely punished if he found out. And and he made me throw away all of our pictures of us and stuff. I didn't wanna Kouji, but I did' have a choice. I dunno what to do. Half a period with out you hurts so much that I really cannot bear it."

Kouji held me tight I as I spilled my heart telling him all of what had happened the night before.

"Takuya" he called after I had calmed down "I think I might have an idea"

I look up at him "whaa?"

"My mother, my real mother has moved to this side of town" he started "and here lately I've been thinking about moving in with her. I never got the chance to have her as my mother, and well dad's… really not ever a dad anymore. And she doesn't care about that stuff. Either. I'm sure"

"How do you know?"

There was a bit of a distant look in Kouji's eyes for a moment "Kouichi was gay." He said "he had told me before mom, but said that he had had a long discussion with her about it, to find out that she really didn't care. She said that the same rules would apply if he was dating a girl, ya know typical mom stuff" he smiled "and I could see if you could move in with me?"

"Kouji" I was blown away. I really was. I didn't know what to say, so I did the only thing I could think of, I kissed him, and boy did I kiss him.

"Now Takuya if you can survive two weeks, and I get the okay all will be better"

"What if she says no" I ask kind of falling back into depression

"Well, I dunno off the top of my head but we'll figure something out"

I smile a little, sometimes Kouji really just makes me feel like I'm on top of the world.

"Now go back to class before you get into trouble"

I nod and kiss him one good time again wash my face and head back to class.

(Two weeks later)

It has been a hard two and a half weeks from when my father decided I wouldn't see Kouji anymore. I suppose it could have been worse. The few pictures I kept from my father I managed to sneak them to school and put them in my locker. Though I wasn't' supposed to I stayed in contact with Kouji. There is just no way I couldn't, or would, unless I was dead. Izumi helped out with that. She would give notes and stuff to Kouji from me and the other way around. I told her, and Kouji agreed with me, that we were going to buy her dinner or something when this whole thing blows over. Of course she did the girl thing "Awww you guys" and so on.

Oh and my father wasn't kidding when he told me that I couldn't see Kouji at school either if I did he would know. I spoke to him in the hall for a few minutes between classes. I really got it at home

"_Son I'm trying to help you, but you are really trying my patients Takuya. Being gay is wrong. Some day you'll thank me for this, and when I said no contact with Kouji I MEANT NO contact with Kouji"_

And well I didn't got to school for three days. He beat me. Not severely though, just enough for it to hurt physically and emotionally, and isolated me. My father would set food inside my room to eat. I wasn't allowed out to the room for any purpose other than for the bathroom and shower.

But after that whole ordeal I found out how he knew. He had told the staff of the school that we weren't to see each other, and to let him know if it ever happened. How did I find this out? Well my English teacher Mr. Kirafuda let me in on this. After I was out for three days he kept me after class, for what I thought was to catch me up on all that I had missed, but actually to see if I was alright.

"_Takuya I would like to see you after class"_

_Of course I groaned. That meant either detention for something or more work. Soon as everybody left I stood in front of his desk._

"_Takuya I are you alright?" Mr. Kirafuda asked._

_At first I was confused by the question. It seemed harmless enough, but it also sounded like a loaded question. So I played dumb_

"_What do you mean sir?" I ask innocently_

"_Well I figured you knew, but apparently not. You dad told the staff to make sure you and Kouji stay apart and someone spotted you and him together and called you dad, and then you weren't here for three days"_

_Inside I was swearing up a storm._

"_Takuya?"_

_I smile somewhat bitterly. Man was I pissed off. I was just about seeing red_

"_No" I start "nothing's alright"_

_It was Mr. Kirafuda's turn to look confused_

"_I suppose you would like an explanation?"_

"_Only if you don't mind sharing"_

"_Well a while back the most wonderful thing happened to me. I fell in love. People don't agree with it. I know this. I knew what I was getting into if he found out. And I tried hard not to not let him found out. …but he did, and now I cannot see Kouji anymore because I love him."_

_Mr. Kirafuda had a stern look on his face. I was expecting the worst._

"_That's wrong of him Takuya"_

_I did a double take_

"_Whaa..."_

"_I don't agree with that at all. Takuya, you have nothing to worry about from me"_

_I smiled a bit he was on our side, which was great, because there is a shortage of people on our side._

But everything is set in place now I'm to live with Kouji and his real mother here in a few days. Kouji told her all about the situations and immediately agreed to let me live there as long as "we behaved," so no sex with Kouji for a bit, which it's no big deal for either of us, because well, it's not even all about that. What matters to me most is that I'm with him and he's with me.

The past few days Kouji's been helping me sneak some of my stuff over to the new house. I get home from school before my father and mother and Shinya, so Kouji comes with me and grabs a box or two then heads out, and really now I'm just down to what I can throw in the large duffle bag in my closet.

As I lay down to sleep that night I'm kinda nervous. It's Friday tomorrow. It's my last night here. Though I want to be with Kouji and out from under this tyrannical rule by my father, I cannot help but to be sad. I've had lots of good memories here. There was lots of love here. And I suppose that up to a point there still is. It's just… well a difference in opinion.

Just before laying Down Shinya was in my room, he was curious as to what was going on with dad and I. Up until a little while ago we had the model father-son relationship.

"_What happened between dad and you taky?"_

"_Well" I had to choose my words carefully. "Shinya, what do you think about two boys being together?"_

_He looked confused for a second_

"_Like boyfriend and girlfriend together?" he asks_

_I nod_

"_Well my best friend Sota has a boyfriend. He said he dun like girls at all. But I still like him."_

"_Well Shinya. Dad and I are not getting along right now because I have a Boyfriend."_

"_Why's that?"_

"_Well some people don't think that two guys being together is right. They say it's unnatural, and wrong." _

"…"

_I saw the puzzled look on his face_

"_Shinya you cannot get involved with me and Dad. I'll take care of it. And I wouldn't tell Dad about Sota being gay; he may not let you see him again."_

"_Okay" he gets up to leave_

"_And Shinya" I stand and hug him tight "remember that no matter what happens I love ya and my favorite little bro"_

"_Love you to Taky" he head out to go to bed_

I haven't had a chance to talk to my mother. But at dinner I noticed that she looks at my father, then at me with a sad expression. I can't quite figure out where she stands on the matter.

I sigh as I roll over onto my side and try to get to sleep.

Scy: ooookay so I'm a total douche bag for leaving this sitting so long. And especially for writing the chapter and forgetting I have it written. bashes his head on the desk really hard yeah so lately all I do is work then sleep the work some more then not sleep. Lots of fun lemme tell you all about it.

Anyways but the good news is that I know how I wanna end the story, which is a good thing. The last um three chapters had just kinda came out with out no actual direction or anything like that. But I have a goal to get to now does a dance and now for the somewhat sad part. After finishing this story which I'm foreseeing two maybe three more chaps tops, unless I just get a crazy awesome Idea to change the plot, I'll prolly stop writing fanfiction. Its fun and all and I enjoy it, I just dun have time to do anything anymore


End file.
